Recently I question about myself. Who am I, what am I looking for.. I know it’s probably too late for raising such question. But for real, this type of question arise when we’ve gotta face some choices of our lives.
Not yet graduated, I ask 2 basic questions for myself:
1. When will I finish my undergraduate thesis?
2. What will I do for living (simply translated into: what will I do after I graduate)?
People will say, “Hey, finish what must you finish NOW first.” But I need my own motivation. Studying abroad? I don’t know, since my Mum can’t let me go that easy and I feel reluctant to negate her ideas of getting job as soon as I can. My Dad follows whatever I want. But for sure, both of my parents want me to work in Deplu. Kinda executive and wow-ish, eh?
I follow one by one of my ideas of living my future: I search for some scholarship informations, I contact some of lecturers and ask them questions. Even one of my lecturer who is studying for her PhD in Florida US now offers me to apply for scholarship in her college.
And once again, I think, those options should be faced with courage.
Hey, I suddenly remember with Eowyn, the Princess of Rohan
She needs courage to cover her identity thus she can join the battle in Pelennor Field. She taught Pippin (or Merry Brandybuck, can’t recall those brats) about courage. Courage, to fight for people we love
And what am I doing now?
Writing random pieces of my thoughts into unknown blog, that not even the most geje person is willing to read 
I hate answers like “qui sera sera”, anyway. I don’t like hung stance. I need certainty. And this is what am I dealing with now.
I won’t live by having ‘following the flow’-sort of lifestyle. I am trying to answer: what I actually want for living, for my future.
…and in the other hand,
my thesis supervisor is HWAIHIHIHIHITIINGGGGG for meeeee..
HELP HELP HELP!
